Forever

Forever unhappy
Forever alone
Forever in pain
Forever a stone
Forever a lie
Forever I cry
Forever I stay hidden inside
Forever decaying, no heart remaining
Forever ashamed, no one to blame
Forever more, a closed door
Forever is not something I want to live for.

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Funeral Day in Saint John

Weeping by a fake porthole in the Hilton’s breakfast restaurant I eat seconds of bacon, and thirds My grandfather wouldn’t have minded my breaking kashrut He would have whispered “I won’t tell if you don’t tell about the cheeseburger yesterday,” and chuckled sweetly My mother is at her mother’s place not listening to the sound of the phone ring— sealing saran-wrap around a sponge cake, our Friday night leftovers soggy, teetering in the pan The ocean solution looks like all of us— in bits, floating wisps of white pollution What’s wrong doesn’t drown us We are doing dead man’s float except for grandpa My sister arrives with the breakfast vouchers I get whatever I want before I figure it won’t be out of pocket I would pay for anything today even though I’ve been on boiled beans and rice for weeks had no choices to make about money Her and cousin Jer come back from the buffet with full plates laughing about something Jeremy gets on the phone calling our younger cousins to join us We all eat as much as we can  . . .

Strip Down and Face Me

Strip Down and Face me Shed all those defences, those misconceptions, those memories that hold you back Those were in the past, we are the present Strip Down and Face me Smudge off all that make-up and lipstick Take off all those expensive threads you wrap yourself around so neatly Peel off any last layer of skin you got on Strip Down and Face me Show me the core of your soul The ideas and beliefs and aspirations you revolve around With a blindfold on, your sight is temporarily disabled Feel my breath on the back of your neck The way the warmth works its way down, making your spine melt, melt into me Hear my secrets gently pouring down your ear Smell my perfume: Dolce & Gabbana Light Blue for Men Ten Thousand kisses have been laid upon you; I’ll try my best to break that record every time With every person I’ve encountered I take away from each experience And in return, I leave behind a piece of me Find me in the grains of time You can find these little pieces and find me, fix me Map out my whole life story Or better yet, why don’t I do it for myself?  . . .